So who is this “Lemur”, anyways?
And really, aren’t we all deep down a little bit lemur?
No. No we are not. There is only the one No-good, black-humour, sarcasm-dealing, accordion-playing, newfoundland-hailing, tattoo-sporting, computer-programming, mohawk-wearing, bad-idea-following, con-sarning lemur. That would be me.
Biography, version 3
Lemur was born in the depths of Madagascar, of the illicit beautiful love between a young vacationer and a prosimian. He was snatched up by the Canadian government and taken to Newfoundland, in order to study the effects of cold weather on animal cognition. As it turns out, much like trolls, lemurs learn better in the cold.
As he grew larger, he was coerced to Queen’s for more formal and structured studying, which he promptly avoided. He learned what he thought was the mating call of the Male Scottish Lemur (Kiltianus Pladium), but it turns out that was the Female variant.
In a fit of rage, outrage, and effeminate shame, he fled to the interior B.C. where he plots his revenge.
Biography, version 3.1
Hello. I am being serious. You can tell that I am being serious because I do not use any contractions. So who am I? I am a person - in the grandiose scheme of things, I am quite average. I have no reason for people to adore me, buy my books and invite me to festivals. But in my life, I am unique, at the least. I am, in fact, the only person living it. Very unique indeed.
The only statement that I’ve said for years and still believed is “bad things still give good stories.” Ok, so I have not ever said that statement, but I have always believed it. Bad things happen around me. Well, things happen around me. Things that often are poor ideas both at the time and in the future. But they are funny to hear about. Which is good enough for me.
Biography, version 3.14
My name is not Lemur, it’s Aaron Mintz. Lemur is my middle name. I’m 22, I’m from Kelowna, B.C. via Kingston, ON via Corner Brook, NL. I have an undergrad degree in Math from Queen’s, I mainly did the most abstract stuff I could find - Enumerative Geometry, Lie Theory, Transcendental # Theory, etc. My job title is “Chief Engineer, Siege Weaponry Division” (seriously) although my business cards says Mathematician. I’m working for a start-up called [Redacted], and I’m building a recommendation engine that works in real-time, using Amazon’s EC2 service. I’m aware of the fact that most companies have a large group of people doing these projects. That’s why this is a start-up.
My long-term plans involve going to law school and studying privacy & tech law, owning a house that has a library with globe + orrery, and building the biggest damn catapult you’ve ever seen, and controlling it via python.
I also ramble. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably figured this out. What can I say?
Biography, version 3.141
There is a story behind my name, Lemur. It’s moderately good. Ask, and ye shall receive.
